Love the Lord w/ Lincoln Brewster

nails

Tidied my room today.

Went to Ikea and bought new pink bedsheets as well as a shelf that had to be assembled by hand. Hammered nails in to fix the wooden boards together. Ended up with a sore thumb.

Thought of another carpenter who sweated over boards and nails, knowing that one day one of these would be hammered into his hands and feet.

Felt the sharp points of the nails.

Please bring me back to the basis of my faith in You.

My Will - DC Talk

Im setting the stage for the things I love
And Im now the man I once couldnt be
Nothing on earth could now ever move me
I now have the will and the strength a man needs

(chorus)
Its my will, and Im not moving
Cause if its your will, then nothing can shake me
Its my will, to bow and praise you
I now have the will to praise my god

Complexity haunts me for I am two men
Entrenched in a battle that Ill never win
My discipline fails me, my knowledge it fools me
But you are my shelter, all the strength that I need

(repeat chorus)

Im learning to give up the rights to myself
The bits and the pieces Ive gathered as wealth
Could never compare to the joy that you bring me
The peace that you show me is the strength that I need

(repeat chorus)

(bridge)
Weve got to be children of peace
Dont you know weve got to be children of peace

Help!!

Is there a tradeoff between perfectionism and personal relationships?

I thrive on doing things correctly. Which can be hard in group work sometimes where each thinks he is right.

I am learning alot about working in a group here. Still far from attaining enlightenment. I always want to contribute and do my part, but I also want to see the group heading in the right direction and doing things correctly (i.e. my way). I am slowly learning to try to change my perspective (lots of conditions!) and to take other people's views into account. It's hard and it's driving me way out of my comfort zone, but I cannot give up.

In moments of frustration I am thankful for friends who listen to me gripe and do not criticise or condemn but are patient with me.

I realise that the words "don't complain, criticise, condemn" are really difficult to put into practice here.

Rick Warren was saying that when God wants to teach you how to love, He doesn't put you with loveable people. He puts you with unloveable people. When he wants to teach you how to be patient He puts you in situations that test your patience. I am (reluctantly) thankful that He is disciplining me. Please, work your good in these situations and help me to give thanks in all things!!

Freedom

When will I be free?

Plea

Realising that discouragements always come but it is your attitude and willingness to change, with God's power, that counts.

Realising that people always let you down and that you will always be letting others down.

I hope that there is still time for improvement in my life. I really pray that I will be able to grow and become the passionate, idealistic yet practical woman of God He wants me to be. I really pray that I will be able to be focussed, and not give in to my greatest weakness. I really pray that through me He will inspire others.

God I want that real heart for You, not just a mouth that talks about You, not just a body that does things for You, but I want to be able to worship You and go to church to worship You and not just to be endlessly doing. God I really need You to change me. You are shaking me, forcing me to rethink my life, my values, my ideals, my perceptions; bring them in line with Yours and let my goals be closer to Yours for my life. Work in me.

Running in Circles

"I need you Jesus, come to my rescue."

I was and am pretending, going through the motions, frantically doing and doing things like a hamster caught in a wheel. But the truth is that I am running on empty. What I need is not intellect, what I need isn't more to do. What I need is humility, brokenness and You.

I look at myself and I feel overwhelmed by the ugliness and futility of it all...

"Beautiful, beautiful, Jesus makes beautiful
Jesus makes beautiful the things of my life
Touching me, changing me,
Causing my eyes to see,
Jesus makes beautiful the things of my life."

Deliver me.