No Matter How

This hymn, "One thing I of the Lord desire", is my only prayer now.

One thing I of the Lord desire,
For all my path hath miry been,
Be it by water or by fire,
O make me clean, O make me clean.

So wash me Thou, without, within,
Or purge with fire, if that must be,
No matter how, if only sin
Die out in me, die out in me.

If clearer vision Thou impart,
Grateful and glad my soul shall be;
But yet to have a purer heart
Is more to me, is more to me.

Yea, only as this heart is clean
May larger vision yet be mine,
For mirrored in Thy life are seen
The things divine, the things divine.

I watch to shun the miry way,
And stanch the springs of guilty thought,
But, watch and struggle as I may,
Pure I am not, pure I am not.

Yes.. my only hope is in you. I can't hope in myself , following laws and methods to make myself pure. For I will only fall again. All I can do is trust in Your plan for my life, and trust that the joys and the sorrows, the challenges and the blessings, will mold me into the woman you want me to be.

Being Silent

"The things we feel most strongly we ought to be most silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God."
- Elisabeth Elliot

Waiting...

Sarah gave me a present today, but I think I'm not going to open it until Christmas morning, no matter how much I want to. I will wait...(although I suspect it might be the Allo Allo DVD I've had my eye on for some time...)

I've stayed in almost all day today, studying, even though it's been a lovely day and I wanted to go out. But I can wait. It will make it so much more worth while when I do finally get to go out.

Yesterday Matthew spoke briefly in the morning, a thoughtful sermon on the importance of waiting. We're told to wait in obedience, to wait while maintaining love and justice, and to be still, quiet and patient. And being still requires alot of trust.

Those who wait will be heard, will renew their strength, will not be disappointed, will see His goodness in the land of the living, will inherit the land, and will have His name and renown as the desire of their hearts!

Matthew quoted from a book he'd been reading about waiting:

"Waiting is our destiny, as creatures who cannot by themselves bring about the outcome they hope for."

"In the Old Testament, waiting is so closely associated with faith that sometimes the two words are used interchangeably."

"What God does in us while we wait is as important as what we're waiting for."

"In God's will there can be an end to some times of waiting, or the blessing of endurance to wait some more."

It seems as though waiting, like hope, is slightly tinged with sadness; we do not have what we hope for. But waiting in itself may teach me more about the Giver than getting His gifts.

And so I will wait. I trust Him and I'm thankful for where He has put me. I want to grow. Most of all I pray that He will make me a woman whose heart He delights in! Give me the grace to wait... to wait in stillness, to wait in prayer, to wait on You. : )

Sufficient

"Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father
There is no shadow of turning with thee
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not,
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is thy faithfulness, great is thy faithfulness,
morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed thy hands have provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me."

I've found the words of this grand old hymn to be true.

When I needed the courage, He gave me courage...

When I needed the empowerment, He made me realise my weakness and I was humbled as I saw Him work.

When I needed to know how to love another, He gave me much more than a forced love, He gave me a friendship.

All I have needed Thy hands have provided. So I will not worry about tomorrow, what I want, what my own plans are. I'm happy to stay in Your will, learning more about You and letting You change me day by day.

Courage Needed

I'm sorry, I find it so difficult to speak of You... Please, I need Your courage and Your power. You are so important to me, the most important in my life. Give me the words and the courage to tell others about it. Let me be real and not hide anything from anyone about how much You mean to me.

Forgive me for my reticence... I must speak of You. You're the good news that everyone needs to hear.