You are Loved

It first sunk into me two years ago, that God was a jealous God. Because I am easily jealous, I can understand that feeling really well.

Being jealous only comes when you care about someone alot.

At that time, I was being immensely jealous of something because I cared deeply, and I thought, "So that is how God feels! multiplied by tens of billions of times!"

God, help me to know your love, not just in my head, but also in my heart, not just in my heart, but also in my spirit.

I believe that the key to everything, to overcome addictions, problems, difficulties, broken relationships, inclination to rebel, everything, is to realise the how wide and how deep, how long and how high the love of God really is.

I am desperate to know this... desperate for a change in my life and my heart.

IF I HAD ONE CHANCE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
We were younger then, you and me
full of dreams, weren’t we?
I went my way, you went yours
where did you go, dear?
someone said, you have left
the life we lived, together then.
this is my way of reaching out
cause I remember...

this is what I want to say to you
if I had one chance to speak to your heart.
you are loved, more than you could ever know.
this is what I want to say to you
if I had one chance to tell you something.
you are loved more than you can imagine. imagine

if I told you, would you believe the narrow road
I did not leave
if I told you would you understand
that I have found truth?
Are you cheated
Are you hurting now?
How I wish that I could tell
Where your heart’s at
Can you see
Mine has found… home

Christmas Eve

Sorry for the long silence as I let God sort my life and my thoughts out. Thank God that

"He's done a good work in me, and He won't quit til I'm free."

I heard it mentioned recently that being brought up in a Christian home all your life might make you want to try life without God, just to see what it was like. Sometimes life without God can be pleasurable, but not truly joyful. I say this from my own experience. There is nothing I crave more than to be with God and walking in His will because when I am disobeying Him I am miserable, even though at the time, I might seem to be enjoying myself and even happy.

Sometimes, you can even tell it from photos, the brightness of your smile, how close you were to God at that time.

My friends ask me for proof of God. I know friends who reject Him on an intellectual basis. I read things and I do have my doubts. But I have no doubt that He is there, that He loves me. It's a conviction that only His Holy Spirit can give. To the world, it is foolishness, but to me, it is life-giving.

Situations can seem hopeless and unchangeable, but the only thing that gives me courage to face them and to have the hope that God will see me through is that God is able to do anything with hearts that are willing. Help me and change me too, change me from the "inside out", not from the "outside in".

Help me to be, not just to do,
help me to do, not just to say,
and in the saying, give me the faith to believe.

I miss You, miss Your presence and the true joy of worshipping You. You are the one who gives me true joy, which is irreplaceable by anyone else.

Happy birthday : ) May the world, caught up in consumerism, drinking themselves unsteady in bars, enduring massive human jams to gawk at decorations, in a frenzy of Santas, trees, lights, glitter and hedonism, realise Who they are truely missing this Christmas,

realise how human You are, how you understand, how You were tempted in every way and how You pray for us without giving up patience on us,

realise what You did when You endured a shameful birth in squalid circumstances, chose for Your best friends prostitutes and tax collectors, admonished the religious zealots of the time,

realise that they are missing You, and You are missing them this Christmas, more than the most loving of lovers misses his sweetheart,

and may I realise it too.